Classika Fitness 2306 Bedford Avenue / Lynchburg VA 24503 / 455-4788

Client Interview #2: Nancy

Nancy C. talks about her time at Classika and what she's gotten out of it so far (and what she's lost). You can find it here!

Reminder: Lecture today

Hi all -- just a reminder that we are happy to have Dr. Cylke give a talk this evening on overeating and the brain's chemistry and structure affects it. She'll then go into some things we can do to counteract that effect. It starts at 7 p.m. For more information, see our June 1 post. We hope to see you there!

Back on Track! (Virginia)

“If you don’t take care of your body, where will you live?” – Anonymous

Things are going surprisingly well in my fitness journey. This is not to say that I am not still thinking about food or that I do not want to eat a cupcake every chance I get. What I mean, is that I am in control again. It feels great. I am working out with Tara at Classika 3 days a week, and I am walking on the Lynchburg trail system the two days of the week that I do not see Tara. In addition, on weekends, I am taking hikes on local mountain trails with friends and family. I am once again making fitness a priority and a part of who I am and what I do. I am realizing that the way I feel when I am healthy and active is worth much more than the feelings of emotional / anxiety relief that I get from eating. I have decided to use fitness as a way to be more social and to get to know people that I enjoy better. I have been asking people who I know, but don’t know well enough, to walk with me on the trail. This serves two purposes, it gets me out and moving, and it allows me to connect with people.
In my previous blogs, I have mentioned that in order to break the cycle of overeating it is imperative that one makes health and fitness an important facet of one’s being. I am attempting to do this by associating walking with socializing and enjoying the company of others. Ideally, this will continue and I will associate getting out and about with the same amount of social pleasure I derive from eating out and drinking with friends. I am mostly trying to focus on doing something active for at least an hour a day, and I have been extremely successful. I am trying to help my brain/mind focus on exercise more than it focuses on food. It has been a struggle, but I am feeling so much more tied to exercise and being healthy that I really believe I am back on the track to being successful!!

The Vicious Cycle (Virginia)

I may have forgotten to mention in my past blog that I am an experimental social psychologist. I love reading, I love figuring out answers to problems. I have spent a considerable amount of my life in school. I tend to want to solve “problems” on an intellectual level. So, there is a large part of my brain that seeks experimental data to help me figure out my eating issues and my lack of motivation for exercise. Unlike the research I conduct in the laboratory or the classroom, once I read articles about eating and exercise, my own personal eating and exercise habits require some sort of physical action on my part. Reading and researching nutrition, overeating, and exercise are not a body of literature that I can leave at the office. The things that I read must be processed on a cerebral level, and then somehow incorporated into my daily actions. This is often difficult.

One well respected researcher in the area of overeating (which is one of my major problems) addresses what he refers to as the cycle of food addiction. I have alluded to the cycle of food addiction in my past blog, and have even included the cycle pictorially, but have not officially addressed exactly what it is or how it affects me. The cycle of food addiction is a 14 “phase” cycle that repeats itself over and over. It is very difficult to break the cycle and keep it broken. Once one can incorporate healthy eating and exercise as part of “who you are” the cycle will break and ideally remain broken. The researcher argues that in order to break the cycle, one must not constantly be “on a diet” or “trying to lose weight”, but rather one must incorporate healthy eating and healthy movement into one’s self concept. So, that the individual will see themselves and have others view them as someone who places a high priority on healthy living.

The cycle is laid out below and I will fill in how I go through the cycle and the thoughts that accompany my cycle. Please note that I am sure I am going to sound like a complete nut job, but I am not going to censor my thoughts, as crazy as they sound. My hope is that someone who reads this will relate to this cycle and might also want to try to break it.

Anxiety
I am often anxious. It might be part of who I am, it might be due partly to the expectations of my job and other life stressors. Part of my experiencing anxiety is directly related to my eating behaviors. I feel anxious about eating too much, I feel anxious about not eating enough, I feel anxious about not exercising enough etc. Much of the time I am awake I am anxious. For example, today is Sally’s (my admin assistant) retirement reception from 3:30-5:30. There will be great FREE food there. I just worked out with Tara this morning, but I am already feeling anxious about how much food I will eat, what kind of food will it be, how will I resist it?

Preoccupation with Food Fantasies

Often time my anxiety leads to be thinking about food and what I can eat and where I can find available food. Today there will be FREE food sitting outside my office door for 2 hours. It is only 11:40 in the morning, and I cannot tell you how much of my time since I arrived at the office at 9:00 that I have been thinking about that food. Ok, that is a lie, I can tell you, I am just embarrassed. I have been thinking about the possible menu for at least an hour, if not longer. I have thought about other similar receptions on campus and what types of food they have there and weighed the possibilities that certain goodies will show up at our reception.

Elaborate Rationalizations to Justify Eating Behaviors
I can tell you that I am currently in this phase of the cycle. I have been telling myself all morning, that “Sally is only going to retire once” and “it would be rude if I didn’t have food at her party” and my favorite “Sally would be personally offended if I didn’t eat with her”. I can rationalize anything. I can also tell you that in reality Sally doesn’t give two hoots if I eat or not. I am sure she would like me to be there, but I am quite sure she will not be counting my calorie intake. I promised myself that if I eat at the reception then I will go to the Y tonight and do some extra exercise. I know that won’t actually happen, because I am in the middle of exam week and I have so much grading to do that a evening trip to the Y is not a possibility. However, if I can convince myself that it might happen, I can eat all I want this afternoon and then feel guilty about not going to the Y later.

Despair
Following the rationalizations comes the despair. I feel like I am a failure, that if I can’t even stop thinking about food for a few hours that I am a lost cause. I feel worthless and my self esteem is lowered by the minute.

Dissociating / Defocusing
So, at this point in the day, I am trying not to think about my food intake, my exercise plan or all of the emotions I am feeling and I am going to get back to work.

(Note the second portion of this blog was written 2 days later)

Overeating and Relief
I did end up overeating at Sally’s party. I was a bit embarrassed, so it took me a day or two to get back to writing about the rest of the cycle. I ate a lot. More than my share of everything. I rationalized it while I was doing it, and I felt good. I felt a great sense of relief. Overeating feels good. At first.

Return of Rational Thinking
I then became aware of what I had done. I ate a ton. I had just exercised that morning, I was in line to be a better healthier person….and I blew it.

Recognition of Consequences
I realized that I had “undone” my workout for the morning, that I had let myself down, and it was shameful.

Shame
This is pretty self explanatory.

Redemptive Spirit
Rather than being down I myself I decided that all was not lost, and that I could again get on the healthy bandwagon and it would be OK.

Unrealistic Goal Setting
I sat down with the YMCA schedule and I over planned my exercise. I put all sorts of classes and things into my calendar. I was determined to be the best exerciser out there. I was going to work out for 4 hours a day to make up for my slip up.

Aggressive Productivity
Tuesday came and I worked out hard….Wednesday came and I saw Tara and I was sore, but I worked out hard.

Fatigue Failure
Then I woke up on Thursday (today) and I am in so much pain I could cry. I can hardly move from my computer to my desk in my office without a constant reminder of how absurd my goals were.

Hopelessness
Now this is when I usually feel hopeless, like I am a complete failure when it comes to exercise and eating etc. and that I will NEVER get back on track. This ultimately leads me back to the feelings of anxiety that started the whole thing.

OK, so this cycle can repeat itself in a day, in a week, over months, but I can tell you that I have experienced the cycle multiple times and in different ways over the course of my life. I have successfully stopped the cycle once, and it was glorious. It was a combination of Classika and making some major life changes. This time around, the cycle snuck up on me and it took me 20 pounds to realize that I was back in it. My rationalizations were so great and it seemed to make so much sense. Before I knew it, I had gained back 20-30 pounds and was smack dab in the middle of the cycle all over again. This may sound like the cycle will ALWAYS get me back, I do not for a minute believe that. I believe that I am capable of breaking the cycle and keeping it broken, but that it will take effort and perseverance and the minute I get comfortable and think I no longer have to work or make an effort, I will fall back into the cycle. Nothing in life that is worth having is easy to obtain and nothing comes easy. Exercise might eventually become part of who I am and what I do, but that doesn’t mean that it will not take a concerted effort on my part. I am committed to making it happen, and I am going to break the cycle. So tomorrow I work out with Tara, and hopefully I won’t be so sore from my over aggressive silliness, that I will be able to get an effective workout.